Lessons On Leaving The Nest

From The Bird Nest On An Island, To An Apartment In New York, To Moving Five Times In One Year In Canada

I was raised in a very sheltered environment, where I didn’t have to lift a finger and my parents did every single thing for me. Having moved from Trinidad to Canada and being exposed, not only out into the real world, but one that is 5000 km away, was daunting. Nevertheless, as intimidating as it was, I learned the most about myself when I wasn’t under my parents’ wings in countries where no one even knew my name. As a matter of fact, I’d encourage everyone and anyone, if given the opportunity, to explore outside of the world you’d always known. Look beyond your hometown, and expand your horizons. There are so many things that you may not have even learned about yourself, and you owe it to yourself to live to your fullest potential. 

I’d encourage everyone and anyone, if given the opportunity, to explore outside of the world you’d always known. Look beyond your hometown, and expand your horizons. There are so many things that you may not have even learned about yourself, and you owe it to yourself to live to your fullest potential. 

Not only was my family not at my beck and call anymore, there was no one that I could call on for anything. In fact, I chose being alone so that I’d have the chance to experience the world without being under anyone’s watch. However, the downside of that was that, whenever there was an issue at hand, it was always up to me to figure out my next move. I went from carefree-living to having my own burdens to bear on my inexperienced shoulders. At first, it was intimidating and a whirlwind of fear and anxiety but once it all subsided at the end of the day, I learned that the only person that I could have counted on was myself. I had to hold myself accountable for my actions, look for resources and solutions and take care of myself, but in doing so, I also learned how to be my own best friend. I learned the art of independence and discipline, and in spending so much time alone, I reflected on myself. I studied myself, why I am the way that I am, and how I can be better. The exposure and experiences that I gained was not something that I could have gotten had I stayed in my hometown on an island where I lived my entire life, and if you truly want to push yourself beyond the limits you’ve known, then you need to get out of your comfort zone. 

If you truly want to push yourself beyond the limits you’ve known, then you need to get out of your comfort zone.

Everyone that you meet, whether they stay or they leave, is a lesson. It was only expected that as my journey took me from place to place over the space of ten years, I encountered new folks all the time. At home, making friends was never my forte. From spending most of my childhood reading books and watching Pokemon, to being bullied in high school, it was only obvious that I spent most of my free time alone. At that time, it never raised an issue for me because once again, I had everything that I ever wanted and I was blessed with family members who would walk to the ends of the earth if I asked them to. I never had to make any additional effort to meet people. In fact, by default, situations arose and it was as if the universe tossed them all my way. Unfortunately, not all of them were nice. In fact, I had been bullied at home and in New York. I had my heart broken in three different countries. I’ve been played quite a lot of times, but the truth is that if you spent all of your time focusing on the negative, you’d miss out on the positive. Yes, I have met a lot of horrible people but I made a lot of friends who became family and because I had experienced such mean people in my life, I learned to cherish the good ones even more. 

Yes, I have met a lot of horrible people but I made a lot of friends who became family and because I had experienced such mean people in my life, I learned to cherish the good ones even more. 

For the most part, nothing is free. No one does anything without wanting something in return. One of the first things that my dad taught me was the “Golden Rule” (Do unto others as you would have them do unto you)and that was followed by, “Just be kind. That’s all.” As silly as it was, I took this to mean that others were taught the same thing and I naively believed that everyone was kind because it was the right thing to do. Surely enough, the second that I entered the real world on my own, I was in for a rude awakening. Time after time, I’d been hurt by people doing acts of kindness only to have something else in return to the point where eventually, I just thought that everyone was horrible so maybe, I should be selfish too. Best believe, I tried being as selfish and cold as the people that hurt me, because I was done with being played and being the one left hurt. I tried turning off my emotions, ignoring who I had to step on to get what I wanted, but I couldn’t. It wasn’t in my nature and being that way didn’t sit well with me at all. It took time and a lot of reflection for me to get to a turning point in my perspective. The world was made up of so many types of people, and not everyone was raised the way that I was. There are a lot of bad people in the world, but there are also a lot of good people. I stopped focusing on the people who used me for their gain, and I started being grateful for the friendships that I built. It was much easier conforming to the ways of everyone else, and it took much more strength to stay true to the person that I am. I learned that it was more courageous to be kind and vulnerable, than to hide behind an emotionless facade. 

It was more courageous to be kind and vulnerable, than to hide behind an emotionless facade.

Never in my wildest dreams had I ever thought that I would have had the opportunity to move so many times in my life. From having a voice of my own to doing my laundry, the lessons I learned from being on my own were invaluable. Most importantly, I became a different person. Everything that I once knew about myself all changed. I never wanted to study Medicine. Who knew that I was a gym-rat? It turns out, I prefer my coffee black, but I enjoy a matcha latte every now and then but above all of those things, I became independent and stronger, fearless, so much wiser and aware of the world around me. I have moved a lot, and I’m only 26 so who knows where I may be off to next? There will be many more people to meet and lessons to learn, and the journey is just beginning.

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